“It’s something in the back of your mind as a parent. Anything can happen. We’re no different than anybody else. Tough stuff happens to everybody.” 

The words of mother Kathryn Dopkins as she speaks about son Wes Dopkins, who went missing while on a kayak trip in Grand Teton National Park in June. Kathryn Dopkins and husband Mark are longtime rural Ellsworth residents with ties to River Falls and Prescott.  

Wes went missing June 15 while on a kayaking trip with a friend on Jackson Lake in Grand Teton National Park in Wyoming. Rescuers found Dopkins’ folding kayak, paddle and dry bag floating off an island, but not Wes. He is presumed dead.  

“We’ve just gone through our second week of Wes being gone and we’re getting through it,” Kathryn said by phone during an interview. “I flew out the day after Father’s Day. We found out that morning. After stumbling around in a fog, my husband and myself, trying to decide what to do, he said to go and I went to take care of my baby.” 

Wes was an adventurer traveling with a friend from Europe. They had gone to the Boundary Waters in northern Minnesota, the Badlands and the Grand Tetons. He was an experienced kayaker and camper.  

“Our son was a traveler from the time he was a teenager,” Kathryn said. “He went to Russia with a middle school group from Russia. We exposed him to other cultures. We had a boy from Northern Ireland stay with us when he was 12.” 

Wes, who started school in Prescott and went on to graduate from St. Paul Academy, attended Pomona College in Claremont, Calif., where he studied German and lived in the German language building.  

“He was a world traveler and I always encouraged him and probably pushed him a little bit,” Kathryn said. “It’s good to step to out of one’s comfort zone and be brave and he learned to do that.” 

Wes attended graduate school in Germany, where he lived for 15 years. He worked for ELO Digital as a product evangelist, training customers on content and document management solutions in German and English.  

Szilvia Horváth, president of ELO Digital Office Corp. USA, posted on LinkedIn about the loss of Wes. 

“His unwavering dedication, immense talent, and genuine kindness made a lasting impact on all who had the privilege of working with him,” Horváth said. “Wes was more than just a skilled professional; he was a source of inspiration, a beacon of positivity, and a true friend. His commitment to excellence and his passion for his work set a standard we all aspired to.” 

Wes moved back to St. Paul from Boston about five years ago to be closer to family.  

“In the three years he was here he made some fast friends,” Kathryn said.  

He was part of a bike club and a book club. He biked 26 miles every evening after work, Kathryn said. He was getting ready for the Twin Cities Marathon.  

Kathryn said when she arrived at Grant Teton National Park, the rangers were magnificent. She learned Wes and his friend had been on the lake when the wind and waves picked up.  

“Once they got on the lake, the waves were 3 or 4 feet high and they got separated,” Kathryn said. “His friend was able to get back to shore, pretty much being blown. He turned around to go back but Wes powered on. He was a determined 43-year-old man. 

“I’m thinking of the beauty of the place where the rangers took me on Tuesday, so I could see where Wes decided to stay. The mountains and the sun and the water and the peace of it all was incredibly beautiful. My heart broke open,” she said as she choked back tears.” There is no separation at that point. I have peace when we heard from the ranger (voicemail in middle of the night), that he had gone out on the lake and they were looking for him. I knew and I kind of felt like he wasn’t coming back.” 

When Kathryn went to Wes’ apartment in St. Paul, she found one last message from him.  

“When I came back to Wes’s apartment I had found on his refrigerator magnets, one that was a document that was an end of life wishes, if anything happens,” Kathryn said. “I’ve worked as a hospice nurse and  last year I was volunteering with Adoray Hospice as we developed the end of life doula program. So this is, he was influenced by me making up my advanced care directive. It’s such a gift and a miracle to have that to work with.” 

This is the message Wes wrote to his loved ones: 

“I have enjoyed my life up to now with few limitations. I prefer to look back with fondness at what I have had. I want my friends and family to remember me as I was enjoying life.” 

Kathryn said Wes was thoughtful and always putting others first.  

“I can’t say more about what a wonderful son he was, and a gift and I just have to be grateful for what we had and the time that we had with him,” she said.  

In time, she hopes to host a fun run in his name with his friends. She plans to sell his gaming equipment, per his wishes, with the funds going toward bike safety initiatives.  

She and her husband grieve in different ways. Mark gardens and spends time in nature. For example, he went camping on his own for a few days. 

“I just want people to know it’s okay to say you’re sad and that you’re grieving,” Kathryn said. “Of course we are going to be sad and missing Wes. Our culture runs away from death, but as oddly as it might sound, it’s so omnipresent, it’s always there. It can help guide us to what’s important and how to live – totally, courageously with all our hearts.” 

In time the family will hold a memorial with Wes’ friends.  

“He was such a good cook,” Kathryn said. “We’ll cook and have a party and cry and tell stories and laugh. We should celebrate while we’re living. We’re going to be sad together and we’re going to get through it. Wes walked on, he walked on ahead of us and we’ll catch up.”